Sunday, March 27, 2011

Lies and Truths

I was just now reading another Celiac's blog, and I enjoyed her humor-based reality.  I'm going attempt to share my personal lies and truths:

  1. Truth - I enjoy eating at the homes of my friends.  I do not expect my gluten-eating loved ones to prepare gluten-free food for me in their homes.  Food safety for people with super-sensitivities like mine is tricky.  It isn't a good idea to cook food for me in the same pan that was used to fry glutenous foods.  Drawers are known to get crumbs in them, and if I eat with a spoon or fork that kissed a crumb, I'll get sick.  Right away.  You don't want to know the details, but you'll see me dashing to the bathroom, holding my head and belly simultaneously and scratching my skin.  It's not a pretty sight.  So, please allow me to bring my own food.  I really don't mind!
  2. Lie - I am glad to have Celiac disease.  No!  No!  No!  My dear husband, when I found a long list of restaurants that specialize in gluten-free food in Atlanta - where we were headed for a vacation - gently accused me of being happy to have Celiac.  Yikes!  I am far from proud or delighted to be living the rest of my days on a strict gluten-free diet; I was, however, ecstatic to find that the Atlanta community embraces my particular situation and provides delicious, safe restaurant foods.  We Celiacs like to be pampered a bit, just like "regular" people.  Do you have any idea what it's like to go to a restaurant and watch everyone else partake in aromatic fresh, warm bread dripping with butter while you look at a menu full of masterpiece gourmet culinary delights only to discover that you can only eat salad greens with  no dressing?  The icing on the cake is when the server pops over to our table after we finish eating and asks, "And what can I get you for dessert?"  Auggghhhhhh!  Back to my original point:  No, I am not glad to have Celiac.  Goodness!
  3. Lie - I cook gluten-food for my family.  Nope.  The first thing that I did, if my memory serves me, when I was diagnosed was clean out my pantry.  My next door neighbors must have thought I was goofier than they thought.  I kept taking them flour, spices, canned food and box-mixes for a week until I was sure that gluten was totally removed.  I was a cleaning-diva, too, making my best effort to remove any traces of microscopic crumbs.  I gave my beloved Tupperware and my non-stick pots and pans to Goodwill and bought some glass food containers and new cookware.  My rule:  I want to live a very long time, so at our house I cook exclusive food.  That means gluten-free.  It was a hoot at first, because I didn't really know what I was doing, and the food tasted horrible.  Now, after years of gluten-free cooking classes and buddy-recipe-study (thank you, Internet!), my husband and daughter are happy to eat gluten-free dinners at home.  I still make them sandwiches on the weekends, and they can bring home glutenous take-out if they're having cravings, but I prepare foods that I can eat.  (Is there really someone out there who prepares two separate meals every night?  Good grief!)
  4. Truth - I know where the restroom is located in just about every establishment I visit.  It is a necessity!!!  We all have our little quirks.  Well, that is mine!

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